Crank Calling the Witch
by captainwhiteshadow
Summary: The survivors decide to have a little fun with a Witch while staying in a mansion.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Left 4 Dead**

**A/N: This is a story I wrote based on a dream I had a couple nights ago. Man, I need to take a break from L4D…anyways, enjoy!**

Crank Calling the Witch

Zoey, Francis, Louis and Bill walked up the creaky stairs of the old mansion they were currently exploring. They couldn't find a safe room, so this was as close to one as they were going to get. And they had seen some freaky things both inside and outside of this mansion.

They turned a corner and shot a few Infected that were in the way. They were now in a long hallway with many doors adorning the sides. They ran down the hall until they came to a room. They went inside, killed a couple Infected, and then closed the door and locked it. There was nothing to push up against it in this empty room with only one window, so one of them would just have to keep guard.

They sighed and sat down against the walls. Louis spoke up first. "Man, that was a close one."

Bill lit up a cigarette and took a drag. "Well, kid, we're safe. That's all that matters."

"Hey, do you guys hear that?" Zoey asked.

The room went quiet. A soft crying could be heard from somewhere.

"WITCH!!!" Louis shouted in panic, his eyes bulging.

"Shut up, or she'll hear you!" Zoey scolded.

"Heh, found her," Francis said, looking out the window.

Everyone got up and went to the window. The Witch was crying in the front yard, next to a table that had a phone on it. The phone was off the receiver and lying next to the witch. And it still seemed to be connected to the mansion through an outlet in the wall. Why it was there, none of them knew, but Francis suddenly smirked.

"Hey, you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" He looked around the room and saw a phone lying on the floor.

Bill saw the look in his eyes and glared at him. "Kid, don't even try it."

"Aw, lighten up, old man," Francis said, walking over to the phone bringing it toward the rest of them. He picked up the receiver and handed it to Zoey. "Ladies first?"

Zoey looked at it, and then shrugged. "Well, what the hell, I'm bored." She grabbed the phone, looked out the window, and said, "Why so emo? Did your boyfriend break up with you?"

The Witch's head suddenly snapped toward the phone. She stopped crying immediately and looked at it in surprise.

Francis, Louis and Zoey started snickering. Bill merely rolled his eyes and mumbled something about stupid kids these days. Louis grabbed the phone next and thought about what to say.

"Oh, are you a Witch? I'm sorry, I thought you were Nicholas Cage. I mean, you both totally suck nipple pies and bitch about everything."

The Witch started growling at the phone and glaring at it. Bill actually laughed a little at Louis's remark. He gestured for the business man to hand him the phone. Bill looked down at the Witch and took a deep breath.

"Obama's president, bitch!" he yelled into the receiver.

The Witch was now growling loudly. She got up and glared up at the mansion window. Bill, Louis and Zoey froze. Francis took the phone and laughed.

"Uh, I think we should stop now," Louis said, backing away from the window.

"I agree," Zoey said, following Louis.

"Well, that's enough fun for—Francis? What are you doing?" Bill asked.

Francis smirked. He wasn't going to go without getting a turn. Besides, what's the worst that could happen with just one more prank? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, bringing the receiver to his mouth. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed, imitating the Witch.

And then the Witch started screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Oh shit…" Francis said, eyes widening.

"Francis, you idiot!" Bill shouted.

"We're screwed now!" Louis said.

"We've gotta get out of here!" Zoey screamed.

"Wait!" Francis said. "She couldn't possibly find us up here."

"Did you not see her glaring at us through the window?" Louis asked. "She _knows_ where we are, man!"

The screaming became louder and closer.

"Alright, screw this, I'm hauling ass," Zoey said, reaching for the door.

"Wait!" Bill said, grabbing her by the shoulder. "I've got a better idea."

_____________________________________________

Francis's bloody and mangled body now lies outside of the door, which is locked with a sign outside of it that says 'No Witches Allowed.'


End file.
